Garrett Levin Dot Com

Journal Entry # 1 From Rehab

admin — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 03:59:30 +0000

Hello.

My Name is Garrett Levin, if you were unaware of this, then you are a fool. I mean look at the websites name…anyways, I just got out of a rehab for abusing drugs, liquor, sex, glue and fancy cars. During my 106 days of incarceration, I was offered blowjobs from heroin addicts, both male and female, crack, and God, sounds fun right? Anyways, I was stumbling around my room and I came across a folder with clouds on it and smiley faces all around it. I open it up and my notebook from rehab was in there. I knew this because on name it said “Garrett Levin….Loves 8========>” Yes, Addicts are very mature. Anyways this is my first journal entry from the night I went into rehab.

Dear Journal,

This is so gay. I’m in a rehab for what exactly? Oxycontin? So what, Heath Ledger used Oxycontin all the time and look at him?

Damn’t I have to go take my meds…be back soon in a second.

a Good Debate.

admin — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:35:38 +0000

For the past oh lets say 45 minutes, I’ve been sitting here at my chair, yes chair there is no desk just a chair, with my legs crossed, naked, debating on what to do…masturbate?
A valid and honorable thing any man can do with his spare time. Or write my second entry to this website given to me by my Daniel. I’ve chosen to write instead of indulge myself with lubricant and Sarah Jay for the sake of my dedication to my china baby, to prove after 106 days of rehab, 4 months of a relationship, and three possibilities of moving to New York and then getting back with my ex only to break Daniel’s heart once more I’ve decided to step up my game. Show I’m not that guy I was….I really need to jerk off.

Garrett

Never Trust Aliens

admin — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:21:40 +0000

Im so excited. I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. If you weren’t already aware I work
at the nook kiosk at Barnes & Noble, I’m head of Digital Sales, I even got a title,
Lead Digital Salesman.
Do you know what that means?
OH Boy I’ll tell ya!
It means I stand in the front of the store 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, greeting, pointing, helping, smiling, dying inside,
and getting hit on by the occasional lonely grandmother who lost her husband during the American Revolution. Its pretty depressing.
That college degree really helps doesn’t it?
So anyways as I was selling a nook to some customers, two females were in the corner watching me in complete silence as I dazzled the shit out of these two old people, one of which seemed to be blind and unaware of the dazzle taking place.
They left empty handed, but the two ladies approached right after, leaving no time for sorrow.
One was older, probably the younger ones mother who’s name was Mary-anne.
Both wearing pants suits, and possibly Venezuelan wearing these unique little pins all swirley and green and red and blue.
They proceeded to ask me about the nook. Potential buyers? Maybe…
so with my snot-filled nose from a cold I might be getting and a flick of the wrist i was off to the races.
I sold them hard.
Then after a brief period of time the older lady opened her mouth wide to speak, the front of her gums grey from two false front teeth put in by a lousy dentist from Ecuador and she began to speak to me in a Hispanic accent.

Older Spanish Lady: You really know your product well!

I nod in agreement.

Older Spanish Lady: Do you work here full time?

Me: I work here part time.
A lie.
I even get vacation time here.

She beamed.

OSL: Are you open to new things?

I was caught off guard by such an enticing question. Who wouldn’t be open to new things? Do I look like a Muslim?

I answered with a “yes”. So she began explaining to me that they recently opened an office in the area and asked me for my number so they can call me at 2:30, my break time that I use for crying. I’m beginning to think these two are either one of two things, Guerilla Warriors from Venezuela or visitors from another planet, either way they’re aliens. But enough about aliens, what about this job? I’m so fucking curious I feel like I’m in Men in Black. I’ll write about what happens after 2:30.

its now 3:45 way past 2:30. I’m miserable again. The aliens never called. I fucking sat in my car killing myself with cigarette and cheeseburger staring at the phone and nothing. Is this some sort of test? a game aliens play to see how I react to rejection? Well if this is a test they got me cause I’m pissed. I’m pissed as shit. This sucks and so does my life.

Garrett